We surveyed our community and asked them this question: What do you WISH you had said when someone asked the dreaded question “When are you going to get pregnant?”
To see what we wish we had said, and in some cases what people ACTUALLY said, read on.
When we receive this question, for many of us it isn’t the first time a person has asked it. We know they don’t intend harm, but we also know that sometimes they are not picking up the hint that this is intrusive. Or hurtful.
With new infertility statistics released by WHO, we know that 1 in 6 people globally experience infertility. The infertility definition is not being able to get pregnant (conceive) after one year (or longer) of unprotected sex. For women 35 years or older, infertility is defined as after 6 months of unprotected sex. So there are a lot of us out here struggling to conceive.
And this number might not include those who are undergoing IVF treatment because that is their only path to parenthood. They have to bear the IUI or IVF process (and IVF cost!!) if they want to have a child with their same sex partner, or if they are a SMBC.
It is not our responsibility to educate others on infertility or fertility treatment. But I do hope that more of us speak out about how this question makes us feel, so that more people will understand the nuance and emotion that surrounds it, and perhaps learn to leave that question behind.
How the community answered "When Are You Going to Get Pregnant?"
- Mind your effin business
- I asked my uterus the exact same question
- I ask if they have pointers on conception sex and if they can sync our calendars to be sure we're in the same room when I ovulate. Usually does the trick.
- When I get a job with benefits that cover IVF or I can afford IVF!!
- God willing, any day now!
- I used to say in time. Now, “we’ve been struggling with infertility and seeing doctors for years”
- To in laws: But don’t you love your dog grandchildren? Are they not enough?
- Whenever God decides to bless us with one.
- I’ve actually said “when things work out”
- As soon as my IVF medications get shipped!
- Say Inshallah if God wants hopefully
- It’s none of your business!!
- I’ve been trying for years, it’s not as easy for everyone, but thank you for your interest.
- Well we wanted to be pregnant 5 years ago but have been struggling with infertility….sooo
- I actually was pregnant and lost the baby. Thank you next.
- When are you?
- Some people I wish I had educated them on infertility and not asking them this question.
- Your guess is as good as mine
- You wouldn’t go up to someone and say when are you going to lose weight?! People don’t think
- I say ur question is hurtful. When they say sorry I say no ur not, ur uncomfortable.
- Actually said: yup, trying to, hopefully soon. Unfortunately not easy for everyone.
- I told my husband’s aunt “when you give us $20k to pay for it” she got real quiet after that lol
- I wish I knew
- When my ovaries learn to cooperate
- We hope for the best but expect to keep hitting brick walls
- I’ve been trying for 2 years, so hopefully soon. They respond, “don’t be so stressed”
- Showed them my fake smile
- Just send my reel - Jessicaryniecmd
- I’d love to but my ovaries a dick
- I was asked yesterday by a single woman so I asked her when she was having a kid.
- “As soon as my body decides to start working” I made it awkward lol
- Do you have $20,000 for IVF because I don’t at the moment
- I already have kids - point to your spouse lol
- I don’t know but I’m starting my list of babysitters - can i count you in? Lol
- When it’s God’s will
- I wish I said: having a baby is not easy and I’ve been trying for a long time, thanks! (walk away)
- We’ve been trying for 2 years and are doing IVF soon.
- Are you asking about how much sex we are having
- I always say we’ve been trying and at this point its not really up to me
- Would love to be right now
- Me: I’m so tired Them: just wait til you have kids. Me: that’s literally all i do